Have you ever noticed that nothing brings people closer than a shared hatred for somebody? If you’re human, you’ve experienced this for sure. We love to make friends based on common hatred for someone. We feel connected to them on a whole new level. In fact, this article in the New York Magazine states that people form stronger bonds when they can talk about their dislike toward someone else than when they both have positive feelings toward someone. Basically, this means hate trumps love when it comes to forming relationships. While this may not be the most socially acceptable thought, it is very true. So, we decided to find out why we love to hate others and decipher the psychology behind it.
We Love The Blame-Game
Isn’t it fun to blame all your problems on someone else entirely? No matter how bizarre and unrelated the connection could be? As humans, we enjoy finding scapegoats for our own insecurities, troubles and bad-luck. Whenever I used to stub my toe on the edge of the bed, I’d blame my parents for placing it there instead of my lack of alertness. This article by The Washington Post states that people join hate groups because ” it allows them to funnel the blame for all of their problems into another group of people while being supported by a group of people who share their beliefs and make them feel like they belong”. This can also connect to why you share a strong bond with your best friends as well! It’s because of all the bitching sessions! Nothing is more thrilling than dragging down your ex’s new girlfriend who you not only don’t know (at all) but somehow blame for all your relationship troubles. It all makes sense now, doesn’t it?
It Is An Expression Of Vulnerability
Nothing exposes us like revealing our hatred for someone. When we declare we hate somebody, we reveal a very intimate (and sometimes, also a very ugly) part of ourselves. It makes us vulnerable and when someone relates to it, it exposes their vulnerability too, making the bond you share with them stronger and more trustworthy. This article by Fulfillment Daily reveals that when someone hates another person on your behalf for something they did to you or even for your own selfish reasons, you are drawn to them and establish a pretty solid bond with them. After all, misery needs company right?
It Gives Us A Sense Of Belonging
Man is a social animal who craves a sense of belonging. When we hate the same person as someone else, we feel included in their bubble. This explains why non-cricket watchers suddenly get excited to see Pakistan lose in an India versus Pakistan match. According to this article by Science Of People, hatred helps establish social circles. It states, “When people declare their dislike for others, it helps people understand the boundaries between social circles. This is a powerful motivator for people to form bonds because it satisfies their need to feel connected to others”.
However, hating someone is bad for you because the more negative you are, the more it will show and plague literally every aspect of your life. Remember Roald Dahl‘s Twits? Sharing your hateful views can give others a wrong and negative impression of you as well! While hating others is fun, it’s not always the best thing to do. So, unless you have a genuine reason to hate someone, keep it to yourself.
Why do you think we love to hate others? Share it with us in the comments below!
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